Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah..i'm still alive eventhough my blog is almost dead. and im a year older, already 23 years old..quite a big number actually T.T
it's not that i didn't want to write, it's just that i hate writing something which is purely from my brain and not from my heart. something which is more theoretical rather than practical. simply uttering some words to make u feel n look great, but in real life the opposite things happen. yes, it happened to me just recently. i've turned into a completely different person. i went to the hospital for postings, i listened to the lecturers, but nothing entered my head. i went for lectures, i sat down n looked at the lecturers, they were saying something but i just couldn't hear anything. i went back to my room, i slept and i woke up in the morning, i went to the hospital again. that happened to me everyday, and i feel useless because my life has been so unproductive.
so i stopped writing. i stopped making motivational statuses on my fb n twitter. because i can't motivate people when I'm helpless and hopeless. Until one day, somebody said this to me, 'If i can buy time from those who are wasting time, I'll definitely buy them. Because I have so much things to do n I feel like 24hours a day is not enough for me. But i just can't do that.' When I hear that, I felt like somebody just wake me up from a looooong dream. Why am I wasting my life like this? Why can't I do something good to benefit myself and other people? Why can't I work really hard for my future?
So today, i decided to reorganize everything. I cant just wake up in the morning waiting to sleep again at night. Something great needs to happen everyday.
Allah, guide me T.T jgn Kau jadikan hidupku ini sia-sia Ya Allah.