n i have to be strong..

remuk hati lepas jawab paper spotter harini. rasa penat sgt2, study tapi hasil tak seberapa. Ya Allah, jahat betul fikiran ni kan, tak redha n bersyukur dengan apa yg Allah bagi. betul la orang kata, kita nak bercakap mmg senang, tapi bila diri sendiri berada dlm situasi tu, hanya Allah yg taw betapa sakitnya perasaan ni. mungkin ada yg tak kena, Allah bg petunjuk supaya kita check balik diri ni kan. Ya Allah, berilah aku kekuatan. sangat berat dugaan ni.

paper spotter sgt penting, sbb paper ni yg akan tentukan dissection table utk block akan datang. so dengan performance yg mcm ni, jgn harap la nk dapat table depan, table tgh pun belum tentu lg. sob3 :( bye2 meja depan, bye2 prosector, nmpk gayanya rezeki tade kali ni :(

takpela, yang penting dah usaha. rezeki suma Allah yang bagi. sape la kita nk melawan kehendakNya kan?

izyani, kuatkan semangat, bnyk lg paper lpas ni. jangan give up, jgn mengaku kalah. perjalanan masih jauh. baru ujian kecik cmni Allah bg, tu pun dah tak boleh hadapi. ur stronger than diz rite?

wahai diri, silalah kuat. keep moving forward. ingat, this is not d ending, but just d beginning.

bak kata kak usrah, sekurang2nya kita taw bila nak exam, dah boleh prepare. tapi kita taw ke bila kta akan mati?hmm..mcm mana hebat kita usaha utk exam, preparation utk ke alam seterusnya pun kena la hebat.

sangat menusuk kalbu kata2 akak tu.

i wrote diz in my fb status, 'shoot for d star, if u fall u'll land upon d moon. but what if we dont even fall on d moon?'

n one of my friend responded, 'u'll fall on d earth'.

sangat setuju.

Alhamdulillah, at least baru jatuh skit, masih mampu berjalan n berlari. Allah baru nk uji sikit je kan.

La Takhaf Wa La Tahzan. Innallaha Ma’ana

“Janganlah kamu takut dan janganlah kamu bersedih hati. Sesungguhnya Allah ada bersama kita”

Semoga dapat kekuatan utk terus berusaha. i have to, n i will insyaAllah :)

----> away from blogging till i finish my exam. b right back :)

exam oh exam..

exam tak habes pun lg, tp tangan ni trasa laju ja menulis. ohhh nmpaknya blogging really gives me a real kind of satisfaction :D :D

selesai dah viva anat. viva tu ala2 mcm oral la. bila lecturer point structures kat cadaver, kta kna bgtaw what's d structure, n den ada la soalan2 pasal nerve supply, blood supply, origin, insertion bla3. agak tough la, sebab sekecik2 structure pun kna taw in details. hmm now i understand knapa org cakap medic tu susah. kalau nk diikutkan, suma course susah. tapi medic ni triple susah sbb d only way to succeed is by reading. even kalau faham, tp tak keep reading on n on, bila exam menanges jgak la jawabnye. even baru bca 2 3 hari lepas pun, bila dah lalala sket, daaahh tak ingat dah. hmm. actually medic ni bukan susah, tp memerlukan kerajinan yg melampau2. kalau tade ciri2 ni, semput la bila exam. contoh terbaik, diri sniri. mmg perangai study last minute ni susah nk hilang bila dah terbawak2 dr zaman foundation. dgn alasan, kalau study awal2 pun bukan nak ingat. tp sebenarnya, kalau kita study dari awal, den kta ulang balik apa yg kta study, lg snang things nk absorb masuk. kan?

paling kecewa dgn physio practical. ALAMAK tersalah produre la plak :( first time kena pegang chest patient. diorg amek sorg pakcik india n sorg bdk kecik jd subjek. agak terasa kekok la time tu, tp lpas cakap ngn senior, bru rasa confident sket. kta bukan saja2 nak pegang, tp sbb nak blaja kan. lgpun nnt bila dah jd doc, bkannya bole pilih patients, GIRLS only. haha, no no no. so kena la biasa kan diri dgn bnda2 ni, yg penting niat kna btol. kan?

tapi tu la, mcm2 bnda dapat blaja kt sini, n lots of things yg dah berjaya di overcome. contohnya kalau dlu takut sgt dgn cadaver, smpai affected emotion ni, skrg Alhamdulillah, things are getting better. dah mampu pegang cadaver without gloves dah. lpas pegang g makan, slumber jekkk. haha! practice makes perfect kan? n kalau dulu nk kluarkan tengkorak dr laci pun sgt laa terasa seram, skrg Alhamdulillah dah dapat kekuatan utk tdo dgn tengkorak mlm2, esp time exam cmni. keh3. at one point, kta akan fikir, knapa kita mesti takut, satu hari nnt kta akan end up cmni jugak, cuma keadaan n tempat tu mungkin berbeza.

so, next week ada theory papers. 3days in a row, waaaauuuu! smoga dipermudahkan sgala urusan. insyaAllah Dia akan ingat kita kalau kita selalu ingat Dia kan. n Alhamdulillah, my aunty is getting better, dah sedar tp still kat ICU. smoga dia cepat sembut. doakan ye kawan2 :)

lastly, salam nisfu syaaban. sama2 kita tingkatkan amalan, because we'll never know smpai bila Allah akan pinjamkan nikmat bernafas ni kpd kita. mungkin esok, atau hari ni, Allah jemput kita balik, who knows aite? :)

apapun, hidup agak tenang sejak kebelakangan ni..im happy! makaceh Ya Allah~ (^_^)

special for them :)

kat india ni mmg susah btol nak carik souvenir utk org laki. kalo utk perempuan mmg sng sgt2, smpai licin duit elaun bes sgt shopping kain sari, shawls, gelang tgn bla3. huhu ampun JPA, agak tersasar bil perbelanjaan bulan ni. haish. dah la bole guna debit card, smpai tak prasaan duit kuar mcm air. hehe! tp takpe, demi familyku yg tcinta, akan ku korbankan sgalanya..auwww :D :P

so las2, bru prasan suma yg dibeli tak sesuai utk org laki. nk beli kurta pun bknnya org nak pakai sgt kan. utk bdk2 kecik sng je, bg oto sorg sbijik, komfem bwk smpai ke tido. tp utk yg dah terlebih umo utk maen oto2 ni, nak bg ape ye?

fikir pnye fikir, las2 dapat satu idea. tadaaaaa! XD

utk abah :)

utk my lil bro :)

haha. kesian kat abah, slalu dpt souvenir pelik2. msa g jepun dlu pun tak taw nk bli apa, las2 bli tie hello kitty kt abah. abah layan je pakai p mengajar, nk amek hati katanya :)) hope they will like it. haaa cpt2 sape nk order nametag manipal??? :D

n ni oto utk bdk2 kecik. siap ada driver lg haa..

n ni sari ngn gelang utk mok ngn mokcik2 :D

gelang habib jewel ni..jgn maen2 :P

hehe..so what's left now???

------> habeskan block exam

------> ready

------> get set

------> BALIK KAMPUNGGGGG!

TAPI!

tiket bas nak ke bangalore airport tak settle lg, dgn alasan monsoon season bas tanak jalan..hmm :(

tenangkan hati ni...

-exam mode-

tolong doakan ye kawan2.

hidup sgt tak menentu sejak kebelakangan ni.

ditambah dgn msalah2 yg dibuat sniri :(

im sorry mak, hati ni takkan tenang slagi mak tak maafkan.

dah 2hari tak dapat nk study :(

T.T

n my beloved aunty tengah bertarung nyawa right now.

she's in d ICU disebabkan infection after removing her fibroid.

hope she'll get well soon.

Ya Allah, kuatkan hambaMu ini.

Amin.

im pathetic :'(

one day in d orphanage :)

dah lama berhajat nk ikut kawan2 pegi trip ke orphanage. its not really a trip, but more like a charity work. kt manipal ni ada satu organization, ppl call it as Huluran Kasih, bertujuan utk tlg rakyat India yg susah. kalau dulu persatuan ni buat charity work dkt 'slum areas' where we can find d poorest community of indian citizens. tp tak bnyk bnda yg boleh tolong, sbb bilangan mereka yg sgt ramai, n memerlukan kos yg tinggi kalau nk bantu sorg2. n Huluran Kasih ni pun bergerak dengan bantuan donation from malaysian students ja, so nothing much can be done to help these people. even government india sendiri dah tak mampu nk buat apa2. :(

so disebabkan tu persatuan ni pun mula berubah haluan, dari slum areas ke orphanage and hospitals. bagi moral support kt patients in aids rehab, pediatric wards and mengajar english kat kanak2 in orphanage. for d first time, i was so happy to be able to teach them, they are very cute kids who were born with lack of love and supports from their own family. bayangkan budak2 kecik yg umur baru 6taun, dah pandai hidup berdikari, basuh pinggan sniri, makan sniri. apa sangat la yg kita mampu buat masa kecik2 dlu kan. teringat zaman kanak2 dlu, kalau tgk apa2 yg best sket, mula la nk merengek2 suruh mak ngn abah belikan. kalau tak dapat, carik tok atau wan. last2 mesti akan dpt jugak. n then mula terfikir, kalau anak2 yatim ni tringin apa2, dkt sape diorg nk mintak duit kan?huhu..poor these kids :(

so i was assigned to teach a 13-year-old boy. his name is rohith kaur. a very shy boy, obedient, ambitious and has a very good brain. but unfortunately, he is not exposed to a good environment, at d age of 13, he is still not able to do well in simple maths calculations. tapi bila ajar, cepat je faham. maybe sistem pendidikan kt sini kurang praktikal agaknya. he wrote these on d question paper.

20 / 4 = 192

36 / 6 = 52

15 / 3 = 105

rasa mcm nak nanges je tgk. n den i asked him, 'what's your ambition?'. dia pun jawab dengan yakinnya, 'a master. a mathematics master'. senyum ja dengar, 'if you want to be a good master, u have to study very hard.ok?' he nodded. sopan je rohith ni. suci dari sebarang unsur kemodenan, haha. mechanical pencil pun tak pndai guna, sbb kt india diorg still tulis guna pencil kayu. then dia suruh ajar maths. i told him dat division is d reverse of multiplication, bla3 n i showed him some methods of calculations, he was so happy. mcm terjumpa satu new discovery in his life. n after a few practice, he can answer all my questions very well. that's y i said he possesses a very good brain, but d intelligence is less explored. mcm mana india nk maju, if all d good brains are wasted just like that. geram!

most of these kids, they hate english very2 much. maybe sbb diorg tak nampak kepentingan english, n rasa susah nk blajar. ala2 budak mlysia nk blajar bahasa diorg la kan. haha. tergeliat lidah nk sebut. but d experience did teach me a lot, about being grateful to be born in such a conducive environment, with family, teachers and friends who are always there to help. jangan tgk orang yg kt atas, sbb kita akan lupa diri and rasa apa yg kita ada tak pernah ckup, sntiasa nak yang lebih dr kemampuan diri. sebaliknya, tgk la yg kat bawah, InsyaAllah kita akan sentiasa bersyukur n macam yang slalu org cakap, satu hari kalau kita terjatuh, yang dekat bawah tu la yang akan sambut kita. kan? :)

at d end of d class, rohith asked me, 'are u coming again next week?'

yes, of coz i will! :D

but after balik dari msia nnt la kan :))

a part of the team :)

habis paper kena curik wat jet..haish :D

ade org tanya, knape sama tinggi je?huhu..kejam2 :(

tgh tunggu nk mkn biskut ngn susu nandini :)

cute kan?baru umur 6taun :(

and this is rohith :)

Ya Allah...

Ya Allah, rapuh sungguh iman dlm diri ni. mudah terpedaya dgn tipu daya dunia. berbolak- balik ditiup hasutan syaitan.

Ya Allah, aku ingin dekat dgnmu. knapa setiap sujudku terasa semakin jauh dariMu?

Kau mendengar setiap doaku, malah Kau berikan aku lebih dari apa yg aku impikan.

tapi aku jarang bersyukur.

Maafkan aku slalu melupaiMu Ya Allah...

terasa sungguh lemah diri ni..

:'(

another three :)

ingat lagi time nk datang sini dlu, smpat bergaduh dgn adik smpai dia jerit,

'p india cpat2, jgn balik dahhhh!' dgn geramnya.

tp hari ni, he kept asking me

'bla kakna nak balik niii?'

again n again.

agak terharu di situ.

betul la apa org cakap, air dicincang takkan putus.

gaduh la mcm mana pun, adik tetap adik, kakak tetap kakak.

***

lg 3minggu dah nk balik..

tp sbelum tu terpaksa mengharungi block 2 exam.

smoga kali ni biochemistry takkan mengecewakan hati ni lagi :(

begitu jugak anatomy n physiology.

so dat dapat enjoy days kt msia nnt dgn besnya.

tp kak usrah dah pesan, make sure balance makanan jasad, roh n akal..

insyaAllah takkan sia-siakan cuti kali ni..

wahai makanan yg sdap2, sila tunggu ye :D

wish me luck ;)

knapa pilih india??

the path dat everyone has to take is different. some people are born with blessings, all their dreams come true, but for some people, they have to take a long2 journey, before they can actually achieve their dreams. no matter what it is, a dream is a dream, n if we really want to make it comes true, work harder, pray harder n let Him decide whether we deserve it or not.. XD

i never wished i would finally landed in a foreign land called india. i cried a litre of tears when i got d offer letter, because i was dreaming to play wif d snow, wearing winter coat and boot, enjoying d beautiful sceneries. but i ended here, in a crowded place full of dusts, wif a totally different scenaries. lots of beggars, lots of handicapped people n lots of struggle, hardship and poverty. u can even find some extra ingredients in d food, semut, rambut, lipas. just name it, n they have it. for sometimes, i cant accept d fact dat when my friends are going to d places i wished to be, i have to continue living in diz kind of hectic life.

but today, im enjoying my life here. let people say, 'knapa pilih india, india tak bes la, india dirty la, this and that', for people who know the beauty hidden behind all this, they will learn to appreciate. im happy here :)

this post is posted after receiving dis statement, 'knapa pilih india?euwww....india'.

i dont hate d statement, but i just...

dont like it..

moga dia sedar..

sedih sgt tgk video ni. disebabkan si mak takut naik kereta si anak yg rosak utk pegi bengkel, diherdik2 mak dia sampai menggigil. dunia akhir zaman, anak dah hilang hormat dekat mak sndiri. sdangkan mak tu la yang dah susah-payah besarkan dia, smpai sihat walafiat bulat mcm tu. rasa macam nak penyet2 ja anak dia tu. suami dia pun 2x5, smpai perlu ditenangkan org2 kt situ. hurm, semoga dia insaf, sebelum nyawa berpisah dr jasad, atau sebelum mak dia tu hilang dari hidup dia slama-lamanya. huhu

teringat masa zaman muda remaja (jgn salah faham, sekarang pun muda lagi :P), slalu jugak melawan mak. tapi dah besar2 ni insaf la sikit, especially lepas dah belajar embryology, mcm mana birth delivery. nak tgk pun tak smpai hati, apatah lagi mak2 kita yg alami sndiri saat2 tu. sorry, mak~ :(

its dangerous okay!

hehe, bkn main lg title ye. skadar nk berkongsi dgn kawan2. baru2 ni blajar pasal face. seperti jugak part2 lain yg da blajar stakat ni, Subhanallah, mmg hebat ciptaan Allah. tak ada reason utk kita merasa tak cukup sempurna n tak bersyukur dgn apa yg kita ada. oleh itu, cantik atau tak, hidung mancung atau kemek, bibir nipis atau tebal, segala puji bagi Allah.. :)

ok so yg dikongsikan kali ni, berkaitan dgn applied anatomy of the face. bnda ni mmg sgt2 common, in fact dah jd habit kita, especially girls yg sgt snsitif dgn bnda asing yg slalu tumbuh kt muka kita, JERAWAT. ok, tmpat favourite utk jerawat, seperti yg kita suma sedia maklum, of coz la dkt hidung kan. so nk dijadikan cerita, dkt area hidung kta ni ada network of vessels yg sgt complex, n vessels ni ada communication dgn sinus dlm kepala kta. sinus tu mcm pusat pngumpulan darah la. hehe. so kalau ada injuries dkt kawasan ni, n if mr bacteria berjaya meboloskan diri ke dlm vessels, bacteria2 ni akan travel deep to the sinus, n infect d brain. n kesannya sgtlah dangerous.

oleh itu kawan2, marilah kita stop ourselves from picit2 jerawat dkt dangerous area ni. kalau da terbiasa nnt, takut buruk padahnya. lpas blajar bnda ni, mmg takut dah nk picit jerawat. biar la nmpak buruk pun, asalkan our body is healthy. kan3?

renung2kan, slamat beramal :)