my last 2months

salam semua :)

just woke up, n im blogging at 3 o'clock in the morning, with the breeze, wind and rain outside the window..heee what a feeling :p

so, how are you people? still standing?  :)

for me, im enjoying my last 2 months in manipal. ahh time just flew away. felt like i just stepped on the ground of India, but it's actually been 2 years n half months. i was 20 years old back then, n i'm already 22 now. i wonder how much time is left for me to keep breathing..hmm

INDIA, i think its gonna be the title of a long fairy tale to be told to my grandchildren in another 40years. so many good things happened here. n so much lessons that i learnt from all the five senses. just, a lot.

im sure going to miss all the people here. my babies in the orphanage, especially. n the doctors and the lecturers. atuk shenoy, oh his inspiring face. Dr urala, who called me a donkey n a cow at the same time (i wonder how i look then), Dr minakshee, a woman with a motherly touch. Dr vinayak shenoy, a man with a smiling face. his face paradoxically smiles even when he is angry. n the way he sang a hindi song while doing surgery, im sure gonna miss it. not forgetting, Dr vinayak batt, who nailed my brain with the drainage of tonsil, the jugulo-digastric nodes..haha

n the blind boy whom i met few days back. his father is selling fruits in front of the hospital. the first day i met him, he was so scared n not willing to raise his head. i gave him the same sweet everyday so that he can recognize me from the taste of the sweets. today, after eating the sweet he looked at me and smiled. a smile which touches me forever. even he doesn't have eyeballs, the smile is so pure. Allah bless u, little boy.

ok, dah mula emo T.T

to be continued. esok ada posting!

:)

baby baby baby

salam everyone :)

sooo, i've been posted in obstetric and gynaecology department atau dalam bahasa melayunya, perbidanan dan sakit puan (if im not mistaken :p) since the last 2 weeks. even though i don't really like the field because of some reasons, but seeing with my own eyes what really happens during delivery of a baby is of course a priceless experience. reminds me that the same thing did happened to me 22 years back, but of course im the one being delivered instead of delivering :p n it was my mother who had gone through such a hardship just to let me see the world and become who I am today. yes, a human being. seeing the patients screaming and yelling, with blood, stools and urine came out all at once, im sure it doesn't feel good. it must be painful. yup, it's not easy. definitely not.

today, i witnessed labour for the 3rd time. 3 patients in the same room, one has just delivered the baby, and she was breastfeeding her baby. all the pain had gone after being able to hug her very first baby. the baby weight was 3.6kg and he looks soooo puffy and fluffy. the 2nd patient, she was still struggling. while the nurse was shouting bikibikibikiiiii, which means pushhh3, I saw a drop of tear on her face. the face which defines all the pain. :( n after few minutes, the head of the baby came out, then the body, and the legs, and the feet. n she cried. a cry which makes everyone happy. the baby is alive, and she's breathing. :D horaaaaaay!

and the last patient, she was delivering for a second time, and thing goes a little easy for her. just with a few 'pushing' efforts, pluupppp the baby came out. heeee :)

hello little buddy, say hi to the world. grow up well and become a good person ok? it's going to be a tough journey ahead, so u need some courage to go through everything. this dunyaa distracts, but im sure u'll do well. n i pray that u'll grow up as a muslim, a good slave of Allah. aminn :)

and thank you mak, for bearing all the pain, for going through so much difficulties, for letting me stay in ur tummy for 9 horrible months, for everything u've done to me. hanya Allah dapat membalasnya.

*insaf* :')

makes me think

^^ Today, I interviewed a woman who is terminally ill. "So," I tried to delicately ask, "What is it like to wake up every morning and know that you are dying?" "Well," she responded, "What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you are not?"

^^ Today, one of my best friends, Charlie, shot himself in the head at approximately 2PM. And I just noticed that I have a missed call from him on my cell phone with a timestamp of 1:56PM.

^^ Today, as soon as my 5-year-old baby brother came into my room, I yelled at him to get out without even looking up at him. When he didn't listen and I turned around to yell again, I noticed he had a bowl of cherries (my favorite) in his hands. He said, "Sorry, I just wanted to share these with you."

^^ Today I was approached by a homeless man who asked if I had any change. I only had two dimes, but I gave it to him anyway. As I watched him walk away, he put the dimes in an expired parking meter of a strangers car.

^^ Today, on the one year anniversary of my boyfriend’s death, I decided it was time to clear his clothes out of our closet. In one of his coat pockets I found a diamond engagement ring and concert tickets to my favorite band dated the Saturday after he passed.

^^ Today, I'm a neurosurgery candidate, going under the knife in 2 days. Last month I was a healthy 24 year old female athlete. Today, signed a DNR, just in case I come out as a vegetable. Today, I had to make a living will. Is it really my time? In 48 hours I’ll find out.

^^ Today when I read the news about the healthcare debate, I thought of my dad, who died of colon cancer at 86. When the doctor told him he could have 6 to 8 more weeks with chemo and radiation, my dad was horrified. "Spend Medicare money on me when there are kids without health insurance? I'm 86!"

^^ Today, I was at the grocery store when a young mother was pushing one of the carts that has a built in car on the front for her son to drive. He was spinning the steering wheel all over the place and his mother was making the cart go side to side, trying to match his steering without his knowledge. He thought he had all the power and control and she kept playfully telling him to slow down despite the fact that she controlled the speed. He was so happy. And this simple moment in the midst of my hectic day.

^^ Today, I got a blister on the back of my ankle from my shoes. I was sitting on the bus on the way home with my shoe off because it hurt. A homeless man sitting in the row across from me leaned over with something in his hand. Expecting him to hand me something I wouldn't want, I prepared to politely decline his offer. He said, "You might want this for your ankle so you can put it back in your shoe with it hurting," and handed me a band-aid.

(makesmethink.com)

because we are different

everyone is growing up. our attitudes, thoughts, perceptions, everything changes with time. n the older we are, we have so much to say, n we expressed our opinions differently. some will say it out loud, some will keep it to the heart, some will write.

people differ in their thoughts n their opinions because everyone has their own threshold. some people cry while watching movies, some will just say, why are you crying? some people get mad when a beggar comes near him, some will just smile and give the beggar some food to eat. some people don't even care when others are saying bad things about him or her, but some will end up bursting into tears. some people talk endlessly, n some will just stare at her and say, have u gone mad today?

And that is why, along the way we bump into many kinds of people who make a dent in our lives. some people sell fruits, some play guitar, some know Shakespeare, some are babysitters. because we have our own threshold, and we are different in our own ways. i don't eat ikan keli, but that doesn't mean that i have to hate ikan keli, or those people who love eating ikan keli. the differences are something to be respected, of course within the limitations. by showing some respects, we will be respected as well. always, there's no harm in being different, because if we are to be born the same, imagine how stereotype the world would be. if everyone speaks, who will listen? thus, Allah created us to be different, some ppl are good speakers, n some are good listeners. n that is why, there's something called as, give and take :)

everyday when we wake up, see the sky, look at the sunshine, listen to the heart,

it's beating.

Alhamdulillah, we are alive.

n as long as we are alive, live a life without hatred, respect others, do our best, and God will take care of the rest, insyaAllah :)

pediatric posting ^^

heee harini rasa sgt excited nak blogging :D

3rd year di mmmc, bermula dgn pediatric posting kat karkala hospital. hospital yg terletak di sgtlah rural area, 45minit menaiki roller coaster dari manipal. hihi :D mmg sejak dari dlu excited sgt nak msuk pediatric department, dgn harapan dapat cubit pipi bam2 budak2 kecik.

mula2 posting, rasa agak kekok dgn environment baru. kalau sebelum ni ulang alik lecture hall, berjam2 dengar lecture dlm kelas, kali ni lebih kpd self directed learning. terpaksa refresh ilmu2 first n second year yg hampir2 berkarat T.T

tapi Alhamdulillah, lecturer yg merangkap specialist kt india ni sgt la baik. tak la diherdik2 bagai mcm kt msia. maybe sbb tak letakkan high expectation kpd kami student yg baru setahun durian ni. cuma biasa la bila kena ayat sarcasm 2 3 kerat tu, baru terasa nak balik bukak buku..huihui :))

Alhamdulillah, bila masuk posting baru rasa mcm yes, im on the right track. tak silap pilih medic sebagai karier masa depan. even life tak se'relax' bidang2 lain, tapi insyaAllah kesibukan tu yg akan membuatkan kita tak terjerumus dgn perkara2 yg tak berfaedah kan?nak p tgk wayang pon tak berapa nak dan :'(

n as always, Allah knows what's best for u, n for me :)

Semoga dipermudahkan perjalanan yg indah ini, dan tak goyah menghadapi liku2 kehidupan.

amiiinn~ ;)

everything begins with tarbiyah

Assalammualaikum semua :)

sebelum tu suka sy nak jelaskan, sy hanya insan biasa, cuba dan terus mencuba utk jadi yg lebih baik. jadi sy menulis lebih kepada perkongsian, yang baik sama2 kita jadi teladan, yg buruk kita jadikan sempadan, dan sy dgn hati terbuka menerima segala teguran yg bersifat membina, insyaAllah :)

sampaikanlah walaupun sepotong ayat. kan?

harini hati sy tersentuh dgn video ni,

setiap ayat dlm video ni rasa sangat menusuk. agaknya kalau ada org tanyakan kita, WHAT IS YOUR WISH, apa jawapan kita?

lelaki hensem, perempuan cantik.

banglo 10 tingkat.

kereta mewah.

harta kekayaan.

mesti tu jawapan majoriti kan?

tapi jawapan Umar Ibn Khattab,

MY WISH IS THAT ALLAH FILLS THIS ROOM WITH THE LIKES OF ABU UBAIDAH AMR IBN AL-JARRAH AND MU'ADZ IBN JABAL.

Apa agaknya yg special sangat dgn Abu Ubaidah?

jom baca kt sini, http://pesonacintahakiki.wordpress.com/2009/10/31/pahlawan-islam-abu-ubaidah-al-jarrah/

sangat2 menyentuh hati kalau kita menyelami kisah hidup Abu Ubaidah. satu perkataan utk describe, GENTLEMAN.

everything begins with tarbiyah.

jom sama2 tarbiyah peribadi, semoga satu hari nnt kita semua termasuk dalam golongan yg dimaksudkan dgn 'the likes of Abu Ubaidah'.

amin, insyaAllah :)

i

i am nobody in this world.

im just a person struggling to live.

just like u. just like her. just like them.

3hari lagi..

3hari lagi ke medan perang. bukan perang dengan pedang dan unta, tapi berperang dgn pen dan kertas.

smoga Allah permudahkan urusan kita semua :)

mohon maaf segala salah silap,

doakan kejayaan kami semua :)

**18hari lagi akan berpijak di bumi yg nyata :P yeyyy!

21hari

bangun pagi, tgk handphone..

21 days left, tertulis di skrin.

ya, 21hari mencari university exam.

bila sebut unis exam, semua student medic akan kecut perut. terbayang longgokan notes dan buku yg perlu dibaca.

perlu DIHABISKAN. dlm masa 21hari.

***

petang tadi keluar jalan2, ambil angin, hilangkan stress.

tatkala skuter buruk melalui kawasan rumah mayat, ternampak ramai manusia menunggu sekujur tubuh yang dah tak bernyawa.

tiba2 rasa terkedu.

unis exam akan tiba 21hari lagi. dan semua org sibuk buat persiapan.

setiap masa yg ada digunakan dgn sebaiknya. takut tak sempat nak habiskan.

TAPI..

cuba bayangkan, kalau esok ajal menjemput kita.

agaknya cukup tak persiapan kita nak berhadapan dgn sakaratul maut?

bersedia tak diri ni utk jawab segala pertanyaan munkar dan nakir?

bukan soalan pathology, pharmacology, microbiology atau forensic yg akan dipersoalkan.

tapi soalan yg hanya mampu dijawab dengan amalan yg kita lakukan di dunia.

kalau la kita tahu 21hari tu belum tentu ada untuk kita..

Allah..

kadang terasa diri ni cukup zalim. zalim dgn diri sendiri. zalim dengan Dia.

***

tenanglah wahai jiwa~

Allah nampak segala usaha.

'He will reward u for the painful hardships you are going through'

***

"And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided."
(2:186)

im 22 :)

Alhamdulillah. Allah masih izinkan jantung ini terus berdegup :)

semoga hari2 seterusnya lebih bermakna, dan membawa diri ini lebih dekat kepadaNya.

azam tahun ke-22 :)

10 peribadi muslim menurut Hassan al-Banna..

insyaAllah, nak cuba laksanakan satu persatu..jom sama2 berusaha :)

p/s : di kesempatan ini sy ingin mohon maaf kepada semua, kalau ada salah silap. kalau ada terhutang kt mana2 tolong ingatkan.. :)

support meee ;)

nak mintak tolong pakat2 promote sat..hihi

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yang tenggelam timbul

ciri2 orang beriman, surah Al-Mu'minun ayat 1-9

* Khusyuk dalam solat

* Menjauhkan diri dari perbuatan dan perkataan yang tidak berguna

* Menunaikan zakat

* Menjaga kemaluan dari perbuatan keji dan zina

* Menahan pandangan

* Memelihara amanah dan menepati janji

* Memelihara solat

bunyi macam common kan, alaaa ayat2 jawapan spm pendidikan islam dulu.

bukan main hafal lagi nak bg dapat full marks kan?

tapi nak amalkan tuuuu, Ya Allah susah sgt2 T.T

bila tgk balik ciri2 org beriman tu, rasa mcm tak tau nk letak kt mana diri ni.

rasa jahil, rasa hina, terasa iman senipis kulit bawang :(

'Ya Allah yang membolak balikkan hati kami, tetapkan kami dalam agamaMu'

yang tenggelam timbul..

IMAN.

smoga 2012 jadi permulaan yg baik utk tarbiyyah peribadi. insyaAllah, aminn..

slamat tahun baru 2012 suma :)